So we went to court

On the 15th of December we had our child support hearing. I appeared via the phone due to being a breastfeeding mom. It’s funny during the hearing my daughter was in fact nursing. I knew I couldn’t leave her for hours to go to court. That and her donor dad scares the shit out of me. So yeah I was awarded child support. The exact number isn’t really important but it was well over what he wanted to pay. They asked if I agreed with a lower payment, I didn’t. He claims he pays his daughter’s mother X amount a month. This MIGHT be true but he also provides , clothes , shoes , schooling, co-pays for her medical visits and a whole lot more for her. He provides NOTHING to Kennady. I told the judge I had received nothing. Donor dad asked for leniency in terms of what he has to pay. I said no as did the judge. Then he stood there and LIED to the court. He LIED and said he had no idea how to see Kennady. I have had the same number since I was 19 years old. This is the same person who called said number a week ago. I was trying to FaceTime with my friend Danielle and it called Donor Dad by accident. So he called back and literally said “did you call me on accident?” Not ONCE did he ask how Kennady was. Not once did he ask to see her. THEN to get up in court and LIE like that?! Tho I’m not sure why that shocked me. I wish I could say the amount makes me happy but it doesn’t. Now I have to worry about this lunatic trying to take my child because he wants to pay less child support. 
I don’t think he fully understands how much he fucked himself. I NEVER once asked for cash in hand. I know how he talks/talked about his daughter’s mother behind her back when it came to child support. I wanted to avoid that. I said “Buy some diapers and wipes.” He asked what kind and size. I told him and he never did anything. I said pay off your half of her furniture. He never did that either. Not ONCE did I say give me money. He made the choice to do nothing.
He’s going to try to make me out to be the bad one but the fact remains he walked away from his sick child. He left her in the NICU and never came back. He didn’t even bother to call the entire time she was there. Hell the day I gave birth he didn’t even bother to have his phone with him just in case. He has never cared about her. WHO can look at pictures of their child in the NICU with tubes, IVs and O2 and just never come back? What kind of human being does that?
Oh and he lied about saying he’d quit his job if the payments were over a certain amount. HE SAID IT!!! HE SAID IT TO ME!!! HE’S A LIAR!!!! Again not sure why I’m shocked. Now to wait and see what happens. At this point I don’t even want the child support. I’d agree to hand it right back to him if he just went away and never came back. *sigh*

How do you see these pictures of YOUR child, leave and never come back? I remember the feel of the plastic of her isolette, the sound it made when they opened it to get her out. The wires and how I couldn't move too much without pulling them. The roughness of the tape on her arm then on her foot. The tape that held her IVs in place. The feeling of my heart dropping when the alarm on the machine would go off and the red light on top would flash. That was a bad sign. She could have died.

* Sorry if this post is all over the place. I’m pretty upset over the whole thing*
*~Inza~*