Possible life as a single mom


It’s been a hard couple of weeks around here. When someone tells you who they are believe them.  My dear other half’s mom told me 3 weeks into us dating that she will always be his #1 priority in life. I spoke to him about it and he told me not to listen to her and that she wasn’t right blah blah. I took him at his word. I was rushed to the ER at 11 weeks 3 days pregnant. The next time I saw her she told me how she didn’t like that her son had to come and tend to me at 10pm. Ok I understand that. No one wants their child making a long drive at night alone. We all worry about our babies no matter how old they are. So on that I agreed and slightly felt bad. She then told me AGAIN that she will always be #1 in his life and then threw in a story about his daughter’s mom and how he had told her he had a new family and they were his priority. She then tells me “and you see how that ended”. I got up and left her office and went into the bathroom. I sat in the floor and cried. I sat and talked to myself repeating over and over again what he had told me about how he loves me and how his mother wasn’t right. I came out of the bathroom and kinda just sat there the rest of the day. At 24 weeks pregnant I finally opened my mouth and said something. At that point I hadn’t seen him in 2 weeks because he was busy with his mommy and stuff. He hasn’t spoken to me since.

I understand women are different than men. When I hit 24 weeks I was so excited. I wanted to share this milestone with her father. I had a cute picture frame made with our picture and one of Kennady’s sonogram photos. I got cute “I love daddy” onesies and a wall decal that says “ Family where life begins and love never ends” to put on the wall of our first home together. I wanted to celebrate this milestone with him and instead he spent the day with his mother. We signed up for a few classes for the baby like infant/child CPR , infant care classes and a few others. HE was the one who picked the days and times. When the classes rolled around oops he couldn’t go. So I told him the new dates of the classes. He said “ok” and those classes came and went too. So I will be re-booking my classes and going alone.

I finally announced my pregnancy on Facebook which for me was a big deal. He had me so paranoid and stuff that I was afraid to share the happy news. The love that everyone showed me made me cry and kinda sad that I hadn’t done so sooner. Kennady and I are loved and that’s what matters. My family and best friend Amy have been my rocks. I can do this. Women do it everyday. I just feel so stupid for not believing his mother when she said what she did. I should have known I didn’t have a chance in hell.  We will see how all this plays out. I keep getting told you don’t just walk away and relationships take work. That’s true but if I allow myself to be treated like this what does it teach my daughter? Does it teach her to allow a man to scream and cuss at you when he’s upset then cut off all contact with you? Is that an ok thing to teach young girls? At what point does it stop?

Sorry if this post is all over the place. I’m kind of all over the place right now.



25 weeks Day 7

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